Well kids, it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I apologize. Work kept me busy for a while, and then I went on vacation for 11 days. Blog on vacation, you say? No thanks! I was busy drinking entirely too much beer. 6 thirties consumed in 4 days by 4 people...enough said, right? And on top of that, I bought some Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea Vodka that is TO DIE FOR! Pretty effin amazing if I do say so. Add water, and stir. I like mine with a bit of splenda to make it sweeter. Thanks for the recommendation, Tex!
Anywho-moving right along.
I went to Stephenville for 4 glorious days of Miller lite and Keystone light. Shut up, I like Keystone. We went to the bar one night for a girls night and met 3 of the weirdest guys I've ever met in my entire life. I felt sorry for one, so I took his number. I drunk texted him later in the night, and wound up recieving 3 pictures of his friends dick before the week was over. Don't ask me, I just drink here. Even one of him status post explosion-complete with cum hanging from the head...Fucking nasty ass. I haven't heard anything else outta those boys. Thank you God!! Then Thursday we headed outta town to Glenrose, Tx to float the Paluxy river. Ok so the river was down condiserably, but we still managed to float a good 2 miles. And had to WALK back-UPSTREAM- to the starting point. I do not recommened doing that after jello shots, and beer. It sucks-BAD. Friday afternoon I found my way to Coleman Tx for the 89 millionth annual Family Reunion. Let me tell you this, FRIDAY NIGHT INTO SATURDAY MORNING RAWKED!
Fast forward to 2 AM Saturday morning. Cousin brought a friend to the reunion-He was and I'm sure still is, fucking GORGEOUS. I can't even begin to describe the gorgeousness. So gorgeous he was pretty. Anywho- I'm FUBAR'd from drinking 4 16 oz bottles of water/sweet tea. Mr. Pretty, who by the way, is built like a shit brick house, sits down. I notice he smokes, and I bum a smoke. Mind you, this is the only interaction I had with this guy all night. ALL NIGHT. No flirting, not getting to know eachother, nothing. NOTHING. That is until he leans over and asks if I want to go listen to some good music. I'm like hell yeah, I do. Let's go! Niave me thought we were really going to listen to some good music, and we did, but we also had the most amazing sex known to man-in the front driver seat of his Dodge pick up! Grab your vibrators girls...it gets better! And here's were I apologize for an effing long blog...get over it!
Shinedown's playing in the background...he takes my hand and leads me to stroking is rock hard cock. I'm pretty sure than at that point I'm locked and loaded, and so is he! I gave him head for a while, and I'm pretty sure it was the best head I've ever given, because yours truly even involved the boys in this blow job, oh yes...I had his balls in my mouth, and I LOVED IT! He takes my hand and leads me up into the cab of the truck and I assume my position on the drivers seat, and he commences to ride for a while. The windows are up on this truck, it's still like 100 degress outside, and we are fucking HOT. Like good hot tho. He was sweatin all over me, and that was kinda nice. I had one of the best orgasms in my life at this point. Like toes curling, want to scream, and all I can do is moan so I dont' wake anyone up, or scare the fish. That one was amazing, and so was the one that I had five minutes later!!! Then I ride for a while, and let me remind you once again, we are in the driver seat of his truck, only. And I'm riding-which puts me in control of the windows finally, and they got rolled down. I got so into it, I accidently sat down on the horn. yep...HONK across camp at the Family Reunion. We both get a laugh out of it and then comence the fucking. I found out the next day that after the horn honked, all you could see was break lights flashing in a perfect hump hump ride ride rhythm. That turned me on after I found out...Kinda like, Yes, sir-you are welcome!! By this time we've both sweated off 15 pounds. So we decide to try doggie style...that didn't work because I'm too short for it. But then he throws me across the front seat and gives it to me like I've been a bad girl, and deserves my pussy beating. Here's the climax for him-And no we didn't use protection. He came like a geiser. And that's never turned me on before until that night. And I've never hoped to be pregnant before in my life!! That baby would be effing GORGEOUS!!!
Did we talk the next day, NO. And that's fine. I'm pretty sure that my greatest wildest dirty erotic dream just came true, twice :) Someone took a picture of this-I found the camera it was on and deleted it...so sorry Lovers- the evidence exists only in this blog and in the hearts and minds of all my readers. Sorry!!! I have to go now...somethin just came up :)
ILOVERANDOMSEX-I'MNOTGONNALIE-SORRY
Friday, July 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
My life to music
1. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE SONG ABOVE ALL OTHER SONGS.....EVER? ummm...that would probably be Cumbersome--Seven Mary Three
2. WHAT SONG DESCRIBES YOUR CURRENT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP? Well I'm not technically in one...but I am...so it would be for RIGHT NOW...Ohio is for Lovers (My Heart is in Ohio) ---Hawthorne Heights. Except strike the Ohio and replace it with China.
3. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE KARAOKE SONG? I don't do Karaoke!!! But I love to hear Bluest Eyes in Texas--Restless Heart
4. IF YOU COULD GIVE YOUR LIFE A THEME SONG, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOSE IT TO BE? Nothing Else Matters--Metallica
5. WHAT SONG WOULD DESCRIBE YOUR TEENAGE YEARS? Coming Undone--Korn
6. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST FAVORITE SONG? Sweet Caroline--Neil Diamond. I remember going to my grandparents, and we'd jam to Neil Diamond. He is a fave, for sure! I was like 3 or 4 jammin to that song!
7. SONG THAT YOU'D DEDICATE TO YOUR FIRST LOVE? Lovin You's A Dirty Job--Rat
8. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BEATLES SONG? Yellow Submarine
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ELVIS SONG? Memories, If I Can Dream, and His sound track to Blue Hawaii. Sorry I'm an Elvis fanatic!! And I'm pretty sure he'll be playing at my wedding!
10. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE COUNTRY SONG? No Stranger to the Rain--Keith Whitley
12. FAVORITE SONG WHILE HAVING SEX? lol, November Rain-- Guns N Roses, and Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing!!
13. LAST SONG YOU DOWNLOADED TO YOUR iPOD? It wasn't one song, it was a whole album and that would be Metallica--S&M
14. DO YOU REMEMBER A SONG YOU DANCED TO AT YOUR PROM? I went to my Junior prom for all of 30 minutes...I just remember it being booty music.
15. DEDICATE A SONG TO AN EX. A Place for my Head--Linkin Park
16. NOW ONE TO THE CURRENT SQUEEZE. When You Say Nothing At All--the Allison Krauss version!
17. WHAT SONG TITLE WOULD DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS? Bittersweet Symphony--The Verve
18. FAVORITE GOSPEL SONG? I have a few!! Just a Closer Walk, Old Rugged Cross, Where the Roses Never Fade, In The Garden, In the Sweet By and By, and I'll Fly Away.
19. WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Good Riddance--Green Day, Someday--Blue Hiway, and Another One Bites the Dust--Queen.
20. LIST 5 SONGS YOU ARE CURRENTLY INTO? Sugarland--It Happens, Lovin You's a Dirty Job--Ratt, One---Metallica, Goodbyes a Second Chance-& Starring Down the Barrel of a 45--Shinedown
21. LIST 5 SONGS YOU CHANGE STATIONS WHEN THEY COME ON? Tejano, Rap, any Garth Brooks, anything slow when I'm feelin fast, and any song that grates my nerves.
22. WHAT'S THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? If I Can Dream--Elvis
23. 10 FAVORITE SONGS? If it's on my IPod, It's a favorite...The ipod shuffle looks something like this:
Love me Do-Beatles
I'll Stay here and Drink--Kevin Fowler
Bleeding Me-Metallica
SexyBack--Justin Timeberlake (quit laughing)
Take it to The Limit--Eagles
Boston--Agustana
What Would Willie Do--Gary Allen
Don't Close Your Eyes--Keith Whitley
I Get Around--Beach Boys
Keep On Rockin Me Baby--Steve Miller
24. 5 SONGS TO BE ON YOUR LIFE'S SOUNDTRACK?
Every Rose Has It's Thorn--Poison
It's Only Make Believe--Conway Twitty
I'm So lonesome I could Cry--Hank Sr.
Human or One--Metillica
Send the Pain Below--Chevelle
25. SONG THAT WOULD DESCRIBE YOU?
Fatt Bottom Girl--The Queen version
Sometimes it isn't the entire song that describes me, it's only a verse or a chorus. Music is my life. I love it. Every part of music. It has so much to say when I have nothing. My soul bleeds music. When I have rage, I listen to stuff that makes me want to break stuff. When I'm Sad, I want all the sad shit I can get my hands on! And when I'm drinking, I'm down for anythin!!
2. WHAT SONG DESCRIBES YOUR CURRENT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP? Well I'm not technically in one...but I am...so it would be for RIGHT NOW...Ohio is for Lovers (My Heart is in Ohio) ---Hawthorne Heights. Except strike the Ohio and replace it with China.
3. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE KARAOKE SONG? I don't do Karaoke!!! But I love to hear Bluest Eyes in Texas--Restless Heart
4. IF YOU COULD GIVE YOUR LIFE A THEME SONG, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOSE IT TO BE? Nothing Else Matters--Metallica
5. WHAT SONG WOULD DESCRIBE YOUR TEENAGE YEARS? Coming Undone--Korn
6. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST FAVORITE SONG? Sweet Caroline--Neil Diamond. I remember going to my grandparents, and we'd jam to Neil Diamond. He is a fave, for sure! I was like 3 or 4 jammin to that song!
7. SONG THAT YOU'D DEDICATE TO YOUR FIRST LOVE? Lovin You's A Dirty Job--Rat
8. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BEATLES SONG? Yellow Submarine
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ELVIS SONG? Memories, If I Can Dream, and His sound track to Blue Hawaii. Sorry I'm an Elvis fanatic!! And I'm pretty sure he'll be playing at my wedding!
10. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE COUNTRY SONG? No Stranger to the Rain--Keith Whitley
12. FAVORITE SONG WHILE HAVING SEX? lol, November Rain-- Guns N Roses, and Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing!!
13. LAST SONG YOU DOWNLOADED TO YOUR iPOD? It wasn't one song, it was a whole album and that would be Metallica--S&M
14. DO YOU REMEMBER A SONG YOU DANCED TO AT YOUR PROM? I went to my Junior prom for all of 30 minutes...I just remember it being booty music.
15. DEDICATE A SONG TO AN EX. A Place for my Head--Linkin Park
16. NOW ONE TO THE CURRENT SQUEEZE. When You Say Nothing At All--the Allison Krauss version!
17. WHAT SONG TITLE WOULD DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS? Bittersweet Symphony--The Verve
18. FAVORITE GOSPEL SONG? I have a few!! Just a Closer Walk, Old Rugged Cross, Where the Roses Never Fade, In The Garden, In the Sweet By and By, and I'll Fly Away.
19. WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Good Riddance--Green Day, Someday--Blue Hiway, and Another One Bites the Dust--Queen.
20. LIST 5 SONGS YOU ARE CURRENTLY INTO? Sugarland--It Happens, Lovin You's a Dirty Job--Ratt, One---Metallica, Goodbyes a Second Chance-& Starring Down the Barrel of a 45--Shinedown
21. LIST 5 SONGS YOU CHANGE STATIONS WHEN THEY COME ON? Tejano, Rap, any Garth Brooks, anything slow when I'm feelin fast, and any song that grates my nerves.
22. WHAT'S THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? If I Can Dream--Elvis
23. 10 FAVORITE SONGS? If it's on my IPod, It's a favorite...The ipod shuffle looks something like this:
Love me Do-Beatles
I'll Stay here and Drink--Kevin Fowler
Bleeding Me-Metallica
SexyBack--Justin Timeberlake (quit laughing)
Take it to The Limit--Eagles
Boston--Agustana
What Would Willie Do--Gary Allen
Don't Close Your Eyes--Keith Whitley
I Get Around--Beach Boys
Keep On Rockin Me Baby--Steve Miller
24. 5 SONGS TO BE ON YOUR LIFE'S SOUNDTRACK?
Every Rose Has It's Thorn--Poison
It's Only Make Believe--Conway Twitty
I'm So lonesome I could Cry--Hank Sr.
Human or One--Metillica
Send the Pain Below--Chevelle
25. SONG THAT WOULD DESCRIBE YOU?
Fatt Bottom Girl--The Queen version
Sometimes it isn't the entire song that describes me, it's only a verse or a chorus. Music is my life. I love it. Every part of music. It has so much to say when I have nothing. My soul bleeds music. When I have rage, I listen to stuff that makes me want to break stuff. When I'm Sad, I want all the sad shit I can get my hands on! And when I'm drinking, I'm down for anythin!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday Wish List
I hate being an adult. I hate being told day after day, "welcome to the real world". I hate it. I get the lecture from my parents alot. Especially after I get home from work. God forbid I come home and gripe about working a fucking 12 hour shift. I usually get the "we worked all day too". Bullshit, you sit in a chair infront of a computer all day. Sure, about 15% of my day is that, but the other 85% is spent trying to get pain meds to people. Making sure they don't choke on their own vomit. Trying to understand the 15th mexican who rolled through and refuses to speak to me in english. Pushing the 500 hundred pound man to his room without aggrivating the hernias I'm working on. And keeping up with the current chart as the next patient rolls through and finds his way to my bay. Then getting my sorry 30 minute break to go hoover some lunch over the sink in the break room. Yeah, I'm pretty sure their day isn't that shitty. And I get the cold shoulder for gripping about how tired I am when I come home from work. I run fucking marathons all day. I work my ass off, I deserve to come home and sit on my ass and to be left alone.
Which brings me to wishing I already had the 20% down payment for a house. I'm 25 years old and I still live at home. I can't get the money saved up fast enough!! I love my parents don't get me wrong. I come and go like I please. I live by my own rules, but SHIT. I am still treated like I'm 15. I make a decent amount of money, that goes in my bank account, that pays my bills, and I'm still gettin lectured on how to spend it. FUCK-I'm so sick of being scared to spend my own money...Somebody please shoot me.
Chinese Anesthesiologist is in China for 4 weeks. Then I'm off for 2 weeks when he gets back...
I was told he wasn't going to China to get married...
My life is a fucking 3 ring circus...I want to be the lion tamer...
FUCK
Which brings me to wishing I already had the 20% down payment for a house. I'm 25 years old and I still live at home. I can't get the money saved up fast enough!! I love my parents don't get me wrong. I come and go like I please. I live by my own rules, but SHIT. I am still treated like I'm 15. I make a decent amount of money, that goes in my bank account, that pays my bills, and I'm still gettin lectured on how to spend it. FUCK-I'm so sick of being scared to spend my own money...Somebody please shoot me.
Chinese Anesthesiologist is in China for 4 weeks. Then I'm off for 2 weeks when he gets back...
I was told he wasn't going to China to get married...
My life is a fucking 3 ring circus...I want to be the lion tamer...
FUCK
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Thinking is sooo overrated!
I tried to post last night from bed, but I couldn't. My ipod wouldn't ever let me type in this box. Oh well, I am up this morning and can blog!!!
I really need to get up and sort laundry so I can have clean scrubs for the week but I don't want to. Then I think I better, because I have something super wonderful fantastic planned for this weekend, and need to have plenty of clean chonies!!! I love to suprise other people, but I really hate being suprised. Makes no sense, right?! Oh well, life isn't about make sense.
Asian Persausion. Chinese Anatheseologist. I'm telling you, he baffles my mind. He just turned 46...yeah he's old and does have a kid that is like 19 or 20...too close to my own age!!!! Anyway, so I found out some really WILD news His son is coming home from college tomorrow (he goes to Penn State!) and the whole fam's (he has another son, bout 12 years old) heading out to China for a while. No big deal right? WRONG! He's goin to China to propose to someone!!! He leads me on at work, and then I find out he's getting engaged in T minus 6 weeks and counting. Geez, I thought american men were bad...now I'm pretty sure Chinese men are worse! I so did not see that one coming. Especially from this guy. I thought the older guys were more mature...guess that's what I get from thinking~!!
I really need to get up and sort laundry so I can have clean scrubs for the week but I don't want to. Then I think I better, because I have something super wonderful fantastic planned for this weekend, and need to have plenty of clean chonies!!! I love to suprise other people, but I really hate being suprised. Makes no sense, right?! Oh well, life isn't about make sense.
Asian Persausion. Chinese Anatheseologist. I'm telling you, he baffles my mind. He just turned 46...yeah he's old and does have a kid that is like 19 or 20...too close to my own age!!!! Anyway, so I found out some really WILD news His son is coming home from college tomorrow (he goes to Penn State!) and the whole fam's (he has another son, bout 12 years old) heading out to China for a while. No big deal right? WRONG! He's goin to China to propose to someone!!! He leads me on at work, and then I find out he's getting engaged in T minus 6 weeks and counting. Geez, I thought american men were bad...now I'm pretty sure Chinese men are worse! I so did not see that one coming. Especially from this guy. I thought the older guys were more mature...guess that's what I get from thinking~!!
Monday, May 4, 2009
A day in the life.
I am at work. I am so dizzy today. But I can't take my Meds because today I have to be an employee. My meds make me drowsy. No back up, not drowsy. I will sleep like Snow White, or Sleep Beauty, or a Heroin Junkie who's O.Ded in the bathroom at McDonalds. I. LOVE. IT. But can't take it right now because I still have to drive my dizzy ass back to the Square-20 miles from here.
The LM@W (lazy mexican at work), thinks he's nurse...Go Away and let me do my job. Quit making suggestions on what I should do or even telling me what I should do. Let me tend to my patients. You can go sit down and talk on the phone. Do anything but be right here right now, because You don't know shit about nursing. So leave me alone so I can do my job, and yours too. I need a blood sugar on this patient...TODAY...before I take him back to his family...before he's discharged from the hospital. DAMNIT, I'll do it. I'd hate for you to miss a phone call. FUCK-I do not make enough money to my job AND your job. Go suck up to the other LM@W who texts all day, and let me do my job. He told me the other day he didn't want to go to Nursing School because his job, now, didn't require any responsibilites. Well, you take that a little to literal buddy. You come to work, and talk on the phone. You'd never make it as a nurse, anyway. Fuckin lazy ass. Nursing is hard work. The only hard work he's ever known is gettin passed the Rio Grande...
I need sex so bad right now. In mass quantities. Preferable all by one person. Please someone, nail me!!
Damnit...they're bringing in the next case.
The LM@W (lazy mexican at work), thinks he's nurse...Go Away and let me do my job. Quit making suggestions on what I should do or even telling me what I should do. Let me tend to my patients. You can go sit down and talk on the phone. Do anything but be right here right now, because You don't know shit about nursing. So leave me alone so I can do my job, and yours too. I need a blood sugar on this patient...TODAY...before I take him back to his family...before he's discharged from the hospital. DAMNIT, I'll do it. I'd hate for you to miss a phone call. FUCK-I do not make enough money to my job AND your job. Go suck up to the other LM@W who texts all day, and let me do my job. He told me the other day he didn't want to go to Nursing School because his job, now, didn't require any responsibilites. Well, you take that a little to literal buddy. You come to work, and talk on the phone. You'd never make it as a nurse, anyway. Fuckin lazy ass. Nursing is hard work. The only hard work he's ever known is gettin passed the Rio Grande...
I need sex so bad right now. In mass quantities. Preferable all by one person. Please someone, nail me!!
Damnit...they're bringing in the next case.
Appropriate definition of a contemporary term:
Political Correctness:
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." R. J. Wiedemann LtCol. USMC Ret
Boy is this guy right on!
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." R. J. Wiedemann LtCol. USMC Ret
Boy is this guy right on!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I am who I am because of who I was
Damn I'm sittin here, and I ain't got nothing to blog about...
I could tell you alittle bit about my past..the shit that's made me who I am today-insecure and about 50% self confident.
Lets see...I'm the baby in my family. My parents had me kinda late in life. Buts it's cool, they weren't as hard on me as they were my sister, but then again, I wasn't an idiot like my sister (sorry if you read this, Moose). I kept to myself for the most part. At age 13 I met this guy, who at the time was 22. Yeah, gross I know...Fuck you, listen.
He was married at the time and had his first kid on the way. Fast forward 4 years, I'm 17, he's 26. He's divorced by this time. And we "reunite". We start dating or whatever it was. My parents NEVER knew about any of it. I decieved them for about 6 years about this guy, yeah from 13 to 19 years old. I was so stupid. But I'll tell ya, I believed everything this guy told me. We "broke up" somewhere in there. He got remarried and had 2 more kids. So his score card reads: divoreced twice and 3 kids I don't take care of. (And I was "in love" with this fucktard). We reunite once again in that whole debackle. Anywho, I came home for Thanksgiving, I'm 19 by now, and well we consumate our relationship. He was my first. I thought I was soo in love. He proposed, and we had plans to get married and run off; never telling anyone. Not a soul. I was so grateful for some attention, I thought I was in love. And agreed to every part of this stupid plan. 3 weeks later, he calls me up and says, Hey, I've been sleeping with someone else. Well, aint that fucking fabulous. I wrote him off then. Only to now be addicted to sex. In the 3 years I lived in SA, I slept with so many guys that it got rediculous. I was the queen of one nigtht stands. I even got engaged again, to some low life prick who couldn't be faithful to a toothbrush, much less to me. Yeah, and that one ended too. I've been in and out of bad relationship after bad relationship that finally I threw in the preverbial towel. I moved back to the Square in December 05. I haven't looked back. I haven't had sex in 4 years. I've dated one guy since then (and ruined my self confidence, Thanks, ass holey-o). I went to nursing school and made something of myself. I am indepedant now. But GEEZ I feel more lonely now than I have in a long time. I am a beautiful girl who deserves the world. I sell my self short, time after fucking time. Like the Shy Guy At Work; he's like batting major leage ball and I'm stuck on the bench on the double A farm team. He's so far outta my league. But I've confided in one person about him. She says go for it...I say nah, rejection is fuckin brutal, especially when you have my past. She says I may be suprised. I dunno. Maybe he'd say yeah, and we'd date...or whatever. But then my fairy tale part says, hell yeah, go for it. Take a chance. Then that fucking bitch, reality, knocks me on my ass and reminds me, I'm a Double A farm team bat girl. I'll get to know him better before I jump off the deep end.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in relationships because we fail to see gems hidden inside-I only hope he sees life that way!
Then there's my chinese heart throb!!! He asked about me at work yesterday (on my day off). My boss sent me a text just to tell me...go figure! lol Chinese Anatheseologist will be discussed later, because he baffles my poor little existance.
Peace-
I could tell you alittle bit about my past..the shit that's made me who I am today-insecure and about 50% self confident.
Lets see...I'm the baby in my family. My parents had me kinda late in life. Buts it's cool, they weren't as hard on me as they were my sister, but then again, I wasn't an idiot like my sister (sorry if you read this, Moose). I kept to myself for the most part. At age 13 I met this guy, who at the time was 22. Yeah, gross I know...Fuck you, listen.
He was married at the time and had his first kid on the way. Fast forward 4 years, I'm 17, he's 26. He's divorced by this time. And we "reunite". We start dating or whatever it was. My parents NEVER knew about any of it. I decieved them for about 6 years about this guy, yeah from 13 to 19 years old. I was so stupid. But I'll tell ya, I believed everything this guy told me. We "broke up" somewhere in there. He got remarried and had 2 more kids. So his score card reads: divoreced twice and 3 kids I don't take care of. (And I was "in love" with this fucktard). We reunite once again in that whole debackle. Anywho, I came home for Thanksgiving, I'm 19 by now, and well we consumate our relationship. He was my first. I thought I was soo in love. He proposed, and we had plans to get married and run off; never telling anyone. Not a soul. I was so grateful for some attention, I thought I was in love. And agreed to every part of this stupid plan. 3 weeks later, he calls me up and says, Hey, I've been sleeping with someone else. Well, aint that fucking fabulous. I wrote him off then. Only to now be addicted to sex. In the 3 years I lived in SA, I slept with so many guys that it got rediculous. I was the queen of one nigtht stands. I even got engaged again, to some low life prick who couldn't be faithful to a toothbrush, much less to me. Yeah, and that one ended too. I've been in and out of bad relationship after bad relationship that finally I threw in the preverbial towel. I moved back to the Square in December 05. I haven't looked back. I haven't had sex in 4 years. I've dated one guy since then (and ruined my self confidence, Thanks, ass holey-o). I went to nursing school and made something of myself. I am indepedant now. But GEEZ I feel more lonely now than I have in a long time. I am a beautiful girl who deserves the world. I sell my self short, time after fucking time. Like the Shy Guy At Work; he's like batting major leage ball and I'm stuck on the bench on the double A farm team. He's so far outta my league. But I've confided in one person about him. She says go for it...I say nah, rejection is fuckin brutal, especially when you have my past. She says I may be suprised. I dunno. Maybe he'd say yeah, and we'd date...or whatever. But then my fairy tale part says, hell yeah, go for it. Take a chance. Then that fucking bitch, reality, knocks me on my ass and reminds me, I'm a Double A farm team bat girl. I'll get to know him better before I jump off the deep end.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in relationships because we fail to see gems hidden inside-I only hope he sees life that way!
Then there's my chinese heart throb!!! He asked about me at work yesterday (on my day off). My boss sent me a text just to tell me...go figure! lol Chinese Anatheseologist will be discussed later, because he baffles my poor little existance.
Peace-
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